Posts tagged blogger
the elf.

Seriously. I dropped $75 on elf things. Why wouldn’t we step up our game from last year and have the reindeer AND the dog, AND an outfit. (ps: we lost our elf from last year too and I couldn’t come up with a story they would believe as to why she’s skipping a year fast enough so inevitably to Amazon we went).

We started our elf today. Day 1. This is how that went.

4:00 am me: omg the elf.

I’m literally half asleep, I took a melatonin (or maybe 2) just 5 hours before this, so I put the elf on the counter with a note. Oh and my daughter lost a tooth yesterday (does God hate me?!) so I’m thinking this is perfect, I left the note and a $1 bill. At this point I’m still half asleep, or all the way asleep who knows, but I’m thinking I nailed it.


Immediately my 6 year old is wondering why her tooth is still under her pillow.

sh*t. I knew I wouldn’t be my most productive self at 4 am.

I told her the tooth fairy lets you keep them now, but of course she says at Dad’s house the tooth fairy takes them. (This is when co-parenting is really fun).

Well, see, the tooth fairy and I are friends, and she told me this is a new things she’s trying. At this point my daughter is so confused I think she’s on to me…but for now. I dodged it.

So after that, my 9 year old asks why the elf isn’t ACTUALLY hiding and why it didn’t bring them something.

Wait, what?! The $75 elf investment has now turned into an investment of a some kind of “present”. Make it stop.

Ready to put the elf back in the box and take it to the fire station.

——6 hours later.

Sophie (my 6 year old) has gloves on and his playing with the elf…because you can’t actually touch him, and we apparently never clarified with her that the gloves don’t make it right. ..(but it’s kind of funny, and genius.)

Sydnee (my 9 year old) is.pissed.

“Mom! Sophie is touching the elf, look up how to revive her!”

5 minutes later we are on Youtube looking at how much cinnamon to put on the damn thing so it “works” again.

Lord help us.

God bless you if you find joy in the elf on the shelf. I loathe it.

..but we love our kids, and it’s for them right? So I have an alarm for tomorrow, I’m ACTUALLY hiding it…and maybe she’ll bring them each a bowl of fruit loops since that’s most likely on the agenda anyway.

..and I can only hope that the next time my children lose teeth, they are at their dads.

I’ll keep you posted.